Joys of Motherhood

(Warning: incredibly long, but pretty amusing)

I have been feeling very sluggish and frustrated with myself lately. So, I decided I was going to make a schedule, I love lists. They make everything come into perspective and everything seems doable. I started with what chores I wanted to get done each day of the week since my constant messy house was adding to my frustration. Yesterday, I found out that I failed all of my blood draws with the three hour glucose which means I have gestational diabetes again. So I decided I needed to do the grocery shopping that I have been putting off for a couple of weeks, because my house is full of carbs! I have a vinyl project to do for someone so I first stopped at Roberts to pick up some vinyl since it is two-fer Tuesdays with the coupons. Then I decided to take a package, that we have had sitting around our house for the last year, to the post office. It was being sent to Steve’s sister who is on a mission in Armenia. The line as usual was very long. By this time I am feeling good. Getting things accomplished is a wonderful thing. Then back to the car, this is where things began to go downhill. 

For some reason (Steve) Conner thinks he can “drive.” So every time I put him in the car he wiggles and hunches and squirms out of my hands before I can get him buckled up. So a chubby pregnant lady is outside of the Post Office in the freezing cold trying to grab her son to get him back in his seat, jumping from one car door to the next. If I reach for him he runs to the other side of the car, then he’ll jump to the front, I open up that door and he jumps to the back. So I thought what can I do? I grab a fruit leather to try to coax Conner to the back of the car. I am standing outside of the car next to Conner’s car seat waving around a fruit leather talking to him, telling him to come and sit down. People probably thought I was a weirdo. After about 5 minutes I was finally able to grab him and strap him down. Then off to Macey’s. Wow, was that a mistake! Don’t go grocery shopping two days before Thanksgiving. By this time it is noon, Conner hasn’t eaten lunch nor has he had a nap. Conner seems to understand that I am short and he uses this to his advantage. So, I am trying to put Conner into the shopping cart and he decides to go stiff as a board. Conner has gotten pretty tall so when he straightens himself out like that I can’t lift him high enough to clear the shopping cart bars. (Too short and weak) I try again. “Conner stop, you need to sit down.” Nope he isn’t quitting so I decide this isn’t a battle I want to fight. So I stick him in the main part of the cart and off we go. Just to give you an idea of how busy it was, there were four carts left in the grocery store. Part way through the shopping experience I start getting Braxton hicks like crazy, I am trying not to pee my pants while maneuvering through the crowd and trying to keep Conner from falling out of the shopping cart since he has now decided to not sit anymore. I pull over and spend the next 5 minutes trying to get him where he is suppose to be sitting in the shopping cart but again straight legs. Grrrr. “Conner I mean it, sit down now.” Finally I am able to strap him down, I pinned his body with my one arm while trying to buckle the buckle with the other. I just want to get out of there. Same problem out in the car trying to get him in his car seat but I wasn’t giving in this time he hunched but I just pinned him down. Finally we get home, as soon as I unbuckle Conner he is in the front seat. Fine, I don’t care you’ll be occupied while I unload groceries. Once I finished unloading the groceries I grab Conner out of the car who doesn’t want to come out of the car and he starts throwing a fit. (Side note: We have a driveway that slops downward.) Conner starts running down the driveway toward the garage door yelling, I drive, I drive. when he must have gained too much momentum and ran smack into the garage door and fell over. I of course began to laugh while Conner sat there in tears but I went over and gathered him up. I am exhausted and Conner is now asleep.